I'll remember your soft kisses,

And your gentle whispers.

Missing you's gonna be tough, 

but I will wait till you come for me. 

You are just so hard to resist.... 

Boyf is no GD or Taeyang or Jay Chou but I just simply love to listen to him sing and well, just basically his voice.

Hehehe.

I love you beyond the ends of this world and my longing for you will never cease. 

只羡鸳鸯不羡仙啊~

Ever since you have appeared in my life and dreaming about spending forever with you, I've secretly fantasized of you slipping on the ring of promise onto my finger many many times.

And you did it yesterday, though with my own ring accessory.

But the question was true and real and my answer as always, is a yes.

I love you.

So so so so much that I cannot do without you anymore.

It's always the exiguous things that make the count.
Like how you remember my favourite greens, how you make our dates interesting in your own little ways, how you appreciate me for who I am, so on and so forth.

I just want to be with you forever, give you all my love and everything I have.
And even that it just doesn't seem like it's enough for you.
I just want to do everything that would make you happy, for your happiness will be mine.

You are a dream that came true for me.

And I simply cannot forget the heart-racing kiss you gave before you head for home last night.

I had a therapeutic day in its most ordinary fashion.

Nothing extraordinary happened today but in it's own simplest ways, it had helped to restore so much of my inner peace within.

I had tipped the balance of my emotions so very often lately.

Getting upset at any and every thing.

Got unreasonable, extremely restless and unmotivated.

For the past four days I had simply stayed at home most of the time (thanks to being sick and my stay home work day) other than yesterday where I went out for my usual Saturdate with Nick.

Today, I had a pretty much boring day, just playing computer games with Nick, did housework and read avidly the book series that I am ever so obsessed with. 

It was all very simple things that I did but it made me feel so much better about life and everything.

Before that, I had so much negativity that it was about to burn the whole of me.

Thank god for all the days that I have been at home for sufficient rest and re-charge.

I had really needed it so much in the longest of time.

There are still many challenges to be faced, work to be done but then I have never ever felt so ready to take them on before.

It's like I can take on whatever bad work that I have to complete now.

Staying back at home really had to be one of the best simplest things in life.

It is such simple and ordinary days that we have forgotten about when we are busy with our pursuits of other things in life.

That carefree feeling about not having to rush for time or deadlines or whatever, it tasted soooo sweet that I kinda can't bear to leave it so soon.

But well, it had been a good rest over the long weekend!

One more day tomorrow for me to still catch up with whatever rest I need!

I have a lot of stuff planned in my head and I just can't wait to carry all them out!

And ever so thankful to the most lovely boyfriend, bestie and everyone else nice in my life for everything I have.

I will not let you down anymore by starting to put everything back on track.

I love you guys!

I am so happy to be back (in all aspects)!

Have a good holiday!

xoxo

Being apart from you is the hardest thing to endure, ever. I miss you constantly and you fill my mind and heart every single second. I don't know that you can miss someone so much. It is just so difficult to explain how much I want to see you all the time, and how not being able to always kills a little part of me inside.

I can see you 4 times a week and still can't get enough of you.

I can listen to your voice everyday and still think that it is not enough.

I selfishly want all of you for myself.

You are already mine but I can't help but still want more.

Create more happy moments together, laugh more with you, learn with you, grow with you, try out new things with you.

I guess the effects of being so immensely in love is being too emotional.

I love you so much till I lose some of my reasoning, I go crazy at times when I can't see you.

I unreasonably feel that all of you, including your time and freedom should be mine.

Well, no relationship is going to work out with such an unhealthy trend.

There should be times together, but there should be times that we go do our own things; for absence makes the heart grow fonder.

It still kills me to miss you so much, I don't know if I can live on if you were going to be gone forever, I guess I can only want to join you in wherever you are headed to.

Even to the ends of the world, even to the afterlife.

It is impossible though, to stick to you every single moment.

But it only makes me appreciate more whatever time I have with you.

Even if it is just for a minute, your presence can still help to overflow my heart with joy.

While I still miss you a lot when you are not by my side, I will learn that it is not forever, that I will get to see you again soon enough.

And that while you are not physically here, I always have you in my heart and you have me in yours too.

Your wifey would slowly learn to be a better other half for you. 

I'm always filled with uncontrollable emotions for you but all these emotions should not blind my rational thinking and to be understanding towards you. 

Love should be both selfish and selfless at the same time.

I can selfishly want all of you, yet selflessly give in to you and put your priorities over mine.

Let's continue this journey with a better light and no more hurtful words to each other.

I know that you will never let go of my hand and I promise I will never give up on you either.

There's a eternity long for both of us, are you ready to go on?

Forever is awaiting.

With, this post, it will mark my 365th entry on this blog.

And in a year there are 365 days, so it means that my blog has been a year old now?

LOL. #lamereasoning

So in this "year" I have been through a lot.

Recorded some of my life milestones here, reflections, thoughts, emotions.

Throughout my journey, I have met a lot of new people, learnt how to be a better person, and understand better the intentions and thoughts of the people around me whom I cherish dearly.

Today, I find that I have been making a lot of mistakes in life, wrong decisions, wrong attitude, wrong approaches.

All these mistakes made have hurt my loved ones, and it is not healthy for any of  our relationships.

To start off, I feel that I have been failing a lot in my role to everyone.

My role as a daughter, as Nick's girlfriend, Felicia's best friend, every one else's friend, as an employee....

All of these roles, I haven't done one up to expectations or fulfil the basic duties to each party.

First of all, I have very poor time management. Other people are working, and they are serving multiple roles as well, where their responsiblities are even heavier than mine. Some are mothers to 2 kids, other colleagues have heavier and more strategic tasks to complete, while my tasks at work is relatively simpler and more routined as compared to theirs.

Taking my mum as an example is good enough too. She has to work, do some housework early in the morning before she sets off for work, return home to do more housework, buy groceries and necessities for the family at times and even continue her work till late at night on some days as well. If I have a lot of things that I still can't even complete now, then why is my mum able to do so despite her busy schedule?

Secondly, I feel that I'm not understanding enough and at times I don't sufficiently put myself into others' perspective and think from their POV. Like for Nick, there were quite a few incidents where I let him down by not taking him into consideration. I only cared about my instant gratification but I didn't take one step further to realise that it would have implicated our dating plans. However on the other hand, he thought of me first before doing anything. (That, I really appreciate a lot my love!)

Also, there were a lot of times when I put him into a difficult situation or inconvenienced him because I wanted it and I felt that he should oblige. However I failed to think for him that how inconvenient it would be or that he might get into trouble because of my one stubborn request.
I admit that I'm quite a possesive girlfriend and really, if I could, I would want to see him 24/7. Haha. One day apart feels like an eternity long. Hahaha. No, but it is really very unbearable to be away from him for  long. Sigh.
I think sometimes that sense of possession is too strong that I became less understanding. I know it isn't a very good method of expressing my love so I'm changing.
I love you baby and your happiness is above mine. 

Missed typing and writing essays. I used to dread it when Ms Tan gave us too much writing to complete but now I wish I had more than one essay to write every day. Not writing on a frequent basis has made me more stupid as I had stopped thinking as much as when I was tasked to write something out logically and base my arguments on facts and write them out sequentially so that my essay had a nice flow to it and it made sense. Well, guess I would be writing on different things as and when I can from now on. 

Anyway, this thought came to me while I was chatting with the boyf and I asked him what if I die one day? (I know it is kind of dramatic to ask this kinda question but then again I have always been the girl who's afraid of dying yet contemplated suicide thoughts. And there's no harm asking? You never know if you had needed a practical plan prepared for you loved ones for your after-death, right?)

We talked quite a bit about it and then this question was raised in my head, but I haven't asked him yet hahah. And well if you are curious about his answer to the above question, nope not gonna share it here! Or anywhere else for the matter of fact.

Even way before when we got together, I felt that my love for him is soooooo immense that it was way out of expectations and control. I never loved someone so deeply before???

To me, this question has an instantaneous answer, I didn't even have to think for a split second but definitely love over bread.

To be more precise, this love over bread. Not any other one's love. (And to be specific, the love in this topic refers to only your significant other, doesn't includes family and friends.)

After being with him, I feel quite disgusted at the thought of being loved by someone else or vice versa.

 I cannot imagine someone else holding my hands, going out on dates with me and going through all the ups and downs in my life with me.

It just feels weird and out of place if it's someone else, it wouldn't be the same and it wouldn't be amazing to go through all that with another person.

Given my character, it is quite impossible for me to choose bread over love. I am the hopeless romantic who will never understand why anyone would want to betray love for money or for food to survive.

Maybe I don't sound sane or practical at all here but without Nick, I don't think I would be able to live normally. Yes I would recover with time and yes I would get over it someday but one part of me, a huge part at that, would have died.

Let's not take too many factors and possibilities into account for this topic,else there will be endless answers to each situation. Let's only take it that you have been starving for days together with your significant other and now there are two choices for you:

1) You stay true to your love till the day you die of starvation.

2) You get food but from then on, you can never see your significant other for the rest of your life, no contact, no news of him whatsoever. 

I had wanted to put the scenario as what if you and your significant other had only a few bucks left and you could only choose between a job and him.

But then under the most primal situations will you get to see the true colours of the person as well as his most accurate thoughts. 

No doubt, talk is easy.
Even if you choose Option 1 now, when the real situation happens, how many of you can stay true to what you have said today? Maybe by then the pain of starvation has tortured you so much and all you only wanted was to survive.

However, I still stand my foot firm by Option 1. Even if I get to survive, I would spend days after days crying over the loss of my love. My phone had a glitch once which made me thought that it was the end of us. Even though it was a misunderstanding, the pain, hurt and sadness had been real (prior to clarification). All of those feelings had been so tremendous till I felt like there was nothing left in the world. 

I didn't know what to think or what to do, I could only focus on the loss. I swear my heart felt like it was going to break anytime and my heart had actually hurt a lot. 

I had read a scientific article once where they say you could die from a heartbreak due to whatever scientific reasons and I thought I was close to it. I don't think starvation would have been as painful as that.
I would rather starve and stay true to my own heart, to our relationship and the love we have. To the rest of the world, our love might mean nothing and as you are reading, you might even think that I'm foolish, childish and hopelessly in love. But ever since the day we have embarked on this journey together, our lives have changed. I am no longer my own priority. 

He comes first. He has everything to do with my living, the Midas touch to making everything in my world amazing and wonderful. 

It is just quite impossible to choose anything else over him.
Nothing in this world can be a bigger temptation or becomes a greater happiness other than him.
If I don't have him with me, I'd rather be nothing.
Even if you give me the whole world and all the riches in this world, get to have everything and anything that I ask for, it will be pointless if he isn't there.

No enough amount of words can ever express fully how I feel towards Nick.
My feelings are sometimes so overwhelming that I didn't know that I can have so much of them.

And I will always love you my dear.
My answer will always be the same.

Love how you would hold and squeeze my hand tightly and put it close to your heart. 

Love how excited you would look whenever you bring up our first date, mimicking how shy I was and the way you first held my hand, and how I later on fumbled when you try to lock fingers with me.

Love how gently you would say "Everything will be fine" when I was upset and how you will wipe off my tears and try to put a smile back on my face.

Love how you would do silly things (even in public) just to see me smile.

Love how you would remember the things that I don't like you to do and you never repeated them again.

Love how nicely and carefully you kept all my letters and notes that I have written for you.

Love how you would make the effort to go get movie tickets earlier when you predicted that I would be late for our dates.

Love how you would enjoy watching me enjoy the food you cooked for us.

.

.

.

.

.

.

And the list never ends.

 I don't know that love could actually be such a great thing.

Yes, I have always thought that being in love is beautiful.

But after being in love with you, love seems an even greater and more beautiful thing.

It is also so overwhelming to feel your love at all times that I can't help but tear (out of being too touched) whenever I thought of how much you love me.

To be loved by you, is the best thing that ever happened to me in my whole life.

So sorry for always "surprising" you whenever I start crying in public.

But it's because I am always so overwhelmed by your gestures, even the most little ones and I can't help but be reminded by how lucky I am to have you in my life.

Thank you for just simply being here!

And for everything else you did for me, sacrifices, efforts, etc.

I appreciate very much every single thing you did for me.

I love you!

这辈子再也找不到比你更爱我，还有我会更爱的人。

This reminds me of how warm our future family would be with you around taking the dad's role. 

Always constantly reminded of how lucky I am to have you here in my life.

The one who never fails to brighten up my day no matter what; the one who makes me upset at times but I still can't help but melt upon listening to his voice; the one who wipes off my tears and assures that everything will be alright when I run into problems in life; the one who never felt that I was lacking in a lot even though there are more things that I don't know how to do than the ones I do know.

He is also the only one I want to spend the rest of my life with, nurture our kids together, grow old and create so many exclusive experiences and memories till we have endless of them to reminisce from time to time. 

I love you baby.

I know I have said it countless times, but every single time I say it, I give you my heart once more all over again. 

Sometimes I feel like I have an undeveloped brain.

Aye so I’m asking you, do you love me?

Cause I love you

I’m saying girl cause I really need to know

Is it for real and how deep does it go

Do you love me, cause I love you

Just know that I will always be the one that you can run to

Hear it girl

I missed you

I thought of you from time to time

Maybe it’s the season change because I miss you

Don’t hide it anymore and tell me

Confess to me

Let’s love as much as I’ve been in pain oh

Woo baby baby, I love you more than anything

Getting married and living happily – do that with me

I’ll hold you tightly so you won’t blow away in the wind

When it’s cold, I’ll take off my jacket for you and hold you tight

If you love me

If you want me

Hold me tighter

If you love me

If you want me

Come to me, so tell me baby

Let’s stand behind the turned off street light

And exchange looks only between the two of us

Kiss me show me

Really really love me

Hold me 

I wonder if you’re thinking the same thing as me

Something about your eyes that look at me is different

Only you can be the home I rest in

Without you, my road is a crooked path

You’re the strength that can block the wind for me

I want your love

I need your love

If you love me

If you want me

Hold me tighter

If you love me

If you want me

Come to me, so tell me baby

Let’s stand behind the turned off street light

And exchange looks only between the two of us

Kiss me show me

Really really love me

Hold me 

I will write your name on the corner of my heart

I’ll hide it so no one can erase it

Yes! Kiss me show me

Really really love me

As if my entire body will become paralyzed,

Hold me too tight

If you love me

If you want me

Hold me tighter

If you love me

If you want me

Come to me, so tell me baby

Let’s stand behind the turned off street light

And exchange looks only between the two of us

Kiss me show me

Really really love me

Hold me 

Only you can be the home I rest in

Without you, my road is a crooked path

You’re the strength that can block the wind for me

I want your love

I need your love

Remember the time when we were sitting together on the couch watching TV together?

I feel that spending the rest of my life doing that with you every night is a form of bliss too. 

Love someone the second you get out of bed because it’s the hardest time to do so. The spell you built together all morning is broken and now you can decide whether or not you hate them. They are so vulnerable laying there with their little naked body under the covers, giving you hopeful stares. You could destroy them with a single glance if you wanted to. Please don’t though. Please choose to love them.

Love someone when they’re drunk and it looks like their face is melting and they’re stuffing food in their mouth, sauce dripping down the sides. Your body will recoil because you’ll think for a split second that you fell in love with an animal instead of an actual human being. They are so unattractive in that moment, so pathetic, so lost, like a loveless ape, but I want you to love them regardless because you know this isn’t who they really are and because it only takes three glasses of wine for a beautiful person to become ugly and that shouldn’t be enough to leave you cold. When you carry their heavy lifeless body to bed, look at them when they fall asleep and try to remember the person you adore. Please choose to love them.

Love someone when they’re insufferable, when they hate their job and hate their friends and seem to hate everything in their life except for you. You might lose respect for them, you might look at them as if they’re weak and can’t stand on their own two feet, but I want you to try to push those thoughts out of your brain because the fact is that this happens. People get stuck in their life and they look around and only see one thing that makes sense to them. It doesn’t make them weak or co-dependent, it just makes them human. Don’t fault them for things that are largely out of their control, don’t have your attraction hinge on how great their life seems to be going. Choose to love them.

Choose to love them when they say your least favorite word, choose to love them when they have a day when they need you more than usual, choose to love them when they smell like shit, choose to love them when they aren’t well, when they aren’t the able-bodied picture of beauty they were when they met you because people never stay the way you want them to. You should know that.

Growing up, I thought falling in love was just something people did to distract themselves from dying. It was like getting a tattoo; having a boyfriend or a girlfriend was a way of branding yourself and letting people know that you were valued and that you were important. There was something inside of you that made you better than the average person.

Now I know that, in many ways, I was right from the very beginning. But the kind of love I understood when I was younger is not necessarily the “correct” kind of love. That kind of love is paper-thin and it will wash away. However, every time you choose to love someone despite the bullshit, you are making it stronger, you are painting a fuller picture. By choosing to love, you are accepting the flaws and ugliness that comes along with something beautiful. You are understanding just how life works.

From: http://thoughtcatalog.com/ryan-oconnell/2013/01/the-way-you-should-love-someone/

不管多累都要先听到你的声音才睡得着。
而这样不是因为习惯而是因为想念, 因为爱你。

Wanted to go to bed but decided that I shall blog what I've been thinking about since afternoon.

Celebrated the colleague's birthday today with the whole department and while we were talking over lunch, I realise how I've slowly become a part of the GP family.

Then I thought of how lucky and blessed I am to always meet nice people WHEREVER I GO.

Literally.

I have a supportive family and doting parents.

I've got my loving boyf who always does a lot more for me, beyond the surface of what I can see.

I've got my best friend and my lovely girlfriends, who never fails to back me up when I'm down.

At work, I've got Jolly who always help me in a lot of things and gave a lot of guidance since the first day I met her.

As well as the other colleagues too, I'm always able to voice out my struggles to them, no matter how small or insignificant it is.

And the things is, all of them are not obliged to be so nice to me.

Why?

I'm wilful, I'm strong-headed, self-obsessed, lazy, unreasonable etc.
Why despite being such a troublemaker and a very irresponsible person, everyone still manage to accept me and love me for who I am?

Am I really a nice person after all?

My character isn't that good at all as compared to them too.

I don't even really have compassion nowadays, much less a heart of gold.

I am so reliant and dependent on others too, and I have no idea why everyone could have put up all this nonsense with me.

I mean like, for myself I don't really like people who lets me do extra work or become over dependent on me (except for people whom I treasure most, but then again the chances of them becoming dependent on me is really slim that I would gladly do anything as long as I am of help to them)

So I don't get why all my close friends and now, colleagues, gladly let me become dependent on them.

I am really really really grateful because all of them are so much better than me in a lot of aspects.

Yet they don't find me a burden at all and still love and care for me so much.

Very very moved and I cannot be luckier than this to have all of them in my life.

Thank you everyone. (':

Of course, I will improve and become a more worthy person in your lives too! 

Was talking randomly over skype with the boyf and started becoming emotional. Love ya baby, really v gan dong. 

Every single little thing you did for me and every other little thing we did together, I will always remember it by heart forever. 

There's no better feeling than to be in love with you and to feel your love back for me.

Zui ai ni ye zhi ai ni oh baobei 

Xie xie ni.

深深的被你打敗

每一次放棄你的溫柔

痛苦難以釋懷

每一次和你分開

每一次kiss you goodbye

愛情的滋味此刻我終於最明白

Have you ever found someone whom you feel like even in the next 50, 60,70 years is still not enough to show all your love for them?

I think I found mine. 

Hehe

Been having lots of thoughts, emotions and feelings ever since Nick and I started out on our first date on 1 March. 

Doing this post will help me to remember how I feel when we just started out and in future when I read back or if (hopefully not) we had a fight or quarrel and I start to read back my blog, I will remember all these little sweet beginnings and how it wasn't easy for us to have this relationship.
Gonna be quite a wordy post ahead! (Slowly writing this over a long duration of 2 weeks)

To begin with, Nick is my very first boyfriend. It all happened last year when we met from an online game, Mstar (which I have previously blogged about too) and as how most friends are, we weren't very close from the start and I knew him through my classmate. He did not play Mstar very frequently during the period when I was hooked to the game and one day, crew stuff happened and that's when I started to get a little closer to him.

At the same time, I got a lot more closer to our mutual friend Eunice too. We talked quite a bit and were quite close too and we also talked on Whatsapp like real life friends too 'cept that we only first met up just this year. She was also the one whom I turned to a lot when I felt upset and insecure about our relationship and the bridge to bringing me closer to Nick as well. 

For some time both us did not play in the game till some time later when we both so coincidentally returned to the game on the same day and started to become real close and we exchanged numbers and started to talk on a daily basis, over Skype, over text.

In previous posts for the recent months, I blogged about the changes in my emotions, my feelings, doubts, joy etc. All of them were related to this one guy. I admit that up till the day when he agreed to meet, I was still in disbelief. I really didn't dare to think that we were really gonna be together afterall. I thought my feelings were not gonna be reciprocated again. I thought it was just another heaven-sent prank, which turns out to be one of the greatest gifts in life.

We haven't been together for long irl yet, yes. But I could get used to having him almost instantaneously (is it a bad thing though? lol) There are a lot of differences between us yet there are a lot of similarities too. When I'm with him, I feel happy. That happiness cannot be explained, it didn't need for something to happen before I feel that way. It just feels like being by his side was the right place to be, I felt at peace and nothing else really mattered. We did not have to be dining at some fancy place or go to somewhere exotic, because we are with each other, a lot of other stuff didn't matter already (except money, to be more realistic hahahaha).

For one thing that I appreciate a lot in our relationship is the lack of the use of phones. Among close friends, I don't really use my phone too when I'm with them. With him, that frequency is even lower. There was once or twice when I tried to follow up on Instagram or Dayre while I was with him and he said "I didn't come out to watch you use Instagram", which I felt extremely guilty for afterwards.

Communication mattered a lot in any relationship, be it friends or family too and I'm glad that in ours, a lot of effort is put into that. When I go out, I see quite a number of couples who are on their phone constantly and not talking to each other, which is a very sad scenario (likewise for families and I'm trying to change my behaviour when I'm with mine too). In a relationship, there is a lot of commitment involved and it is not easy to always keep that spark going. I guess that's why our older generation seems to have a more everlasting love than what we have nowadays because there is less distractions from each other. Like I said earlier too, this is my first relationship and there is still a lot to know about each other and a lot of give-and-take has to be compromised too. It is not easy but I'm glad that so far things are working out pretty well!

Other than that, a relationship boils down to trust too. There has to be freedom for personal time as well. I admit that I'm a pretty much clingy girlfriend (sorry but not really sorry hehe).
 But hey, do you not want to stick to me? *death-stare*
Nah, just kidding! :P

Yea, so I guess the most important thing is to have fun and don't take things too seriously. I mean yes, you have to be serious about your commitment to each other and all but you don't have to be tense and critical at every aspect of the relationship. I enjoy and have a lot of fun whenever I'm out with him and I could be myself and do silly and stupid things and image totally was not a concern.
I didn't have to care whether my hair was messy or not, or that I had to re-apply my make-up every few hours. The thing we care about most was just having one another.

Anyway, tomorrow is gonna be our very first monthsary and I'm really glad to have enjoyed such an amazing March with him!
Cannot be happier than this and I feel like the luckiest girl ever since we got together. (;

Hi baby,
I just want to tell you that I feel extremely proud and honoured to be your girlfriend.
There are a few times where I cannot take control of my emotions and started crying where I haven't had a proper explanation for you. I will explain that in my letter okay? 
While this is still very much the honeymoon period for us, there are still a lot for us to learn about each other and there will definitely be times when we have conflicts and all.
But despite all that we also have a lot of things that we didn't have to learn that came so naturally to both of us where we clicked off right away.
Thank you for everything and I really think that our relationship is one of the most amazing things that happened in my entire life. 
Hehe, I will leave the rest in my letter for you!

I love you.
Very very very very very much. 

Our very first date yesterday.

Hehehe. 

I can only say that it is pure bliss to know that you have someone to rely on when you are tired.

Looking forward to more dates in the future!

♥♥♥ 

Going through Top Best R&B songs of 2009 and 2013 thanks to boyf's very distinct and specific taste in music.

K la, good taste la.

And you very cute also so I forgive your commentary on K-Pop hahahahaha

Ai ni. 

While I appreciate every caring word you say, I appreciate even more to be able to enjoy silent moments with you without it being awkward whatsoever. 

And while your singing isn't all that nice, to me it is the sweetest and most melodious voice ever. I find comfort and peace when I listen to you sing. 

Amazing boyf who called at the exact right timing when I needed him most.

Ugh what a tough night, but can't feel warmer than this to know that you're always there to listen.



I can't be more proud to show off to the whole world that I'm your girlfriend.

Sometimes I feel like the relationship that the two of us is having isn't real and sometimes it gives me the feeling that he isn't really that into me.

But like what a friend said, I had to have trust and faith and I did and started to not be uptight over every small little thing and I am so much more happier now.

Also, it seems like that he really is into the relationship too and not just me falling in hopelessly alone.

Even though his character is more laid-back and sorta heck care, but I appreciate the effort that he puts in to make me feel not so upset and insecure. 

He also showed that no matter what happens, I still have him to turn to and confide my problems to and he would always be around to hear what I have to say.

I do have to admit that there were some rough periods earlier, but things are kinda more stable now.

I think it's just plain romantic to fall in love with the same guy over and over again in different ways, and to know that someone thinks of you before he goes to bed. It feels as if "I'm home" when I'm back by your side. (':

Love nights like this when we just don't know who should hang up first. 

Happy enough though, to know that at the end of the day you are there for me to turn to.

Having a very hard week trying to keep my emotions in check.

Been the third or fourth time crying already over the past 6 days.

Not sure if it is pms or not but highly doubt so because it's been a good long while since the damn thing acted up.

Supposed to be working very hard on my project work now but I couldn't focus as there are too many emotions stucked inside so well I had to write all those feelings somewhere, which is unfortunately for you and fortunately for me, here.

I've always wanted graduation to come fast and quick because I can't wait to break free and start doing all the stuffs that I want, be rid of textbooks and welcome the things that I've been wanting to get my hands (and soul) on.

It is until this very day when bestie, Sandy and I were having a lil chat before we went to work on our project about our future paths that I realised that bestie and I are really gonna be separated now. 

For the past 5 years, my reliance on her grew heavily till at times, I admit that I took her for granted.

We weren't all close right from the start, in fact, I quite disliked her at first because she seem to appear very dao towards me (now also like that la, but I know she loves me a lot now) and very cold also. 

Somehow, in sec 3, we started to become closer and by sec 4, we became regular buddies for studying.

Then when we collected our results, we went to TP's open house and then made the shared decision to enter IFM because we could be in the same class together.

Turns out that IFM wasn't anything that I liked at all but it's all thanks to bestie who really pulled me through till today.

Without her support, without her guidance, without her wake up calls I would have long ago chose to switch courses.

But it's precisely because I could get to be with her that I chose this course right from the start.

It definitely wasn't my field of interest but because bestie is always there, it gave me encouragement to hold on and keep trying harder.

Other than studies alone, all the boy shit stuff happened in my life too.

She isn't the sort of friend who would be all nice and agree along and comfort you.

She tells you the truth of what she thinks, if she thinks that something is not right, she would tell me in the face that it isn't. 

But because she's always so honest with her opinions and genuine towards friends, I love her for that.

In her letters (and chats) to me, she always reminds me of how important family is and that they are the ones who would never leave even if everyone else did and that I should cherish them more.

I'm glad that all the closest friends that I've made and all very family-oriented and that they value kinship a lot and I guess that in turns affects how much they treasure our friendship too.

Although bestie isn't very expressive all the time about how much she values our friendship, her actions always show me how selfless she could be and what a amazing girl she is. 

She isn't the open-to-all and sociable kinda girl but when you become her friend, a real one, she's gonna treat you better than how you do to her 10 times in return.

Bestie and I have very contrasting personalities and seriously, I have no idea why we can become best friends till now or rather, why would she have chosen to stick with a scumbag like me.

I have done so many shit stuff but yet here's someone who have never given up on me no matter how much I changed or how many times I have gotten myself into another trouble and mess.

Someone who always picks up after my mess without complaining, someone who always puts the Sun back into my gloomy days and best of all, still stays in them no matter how dark the days were.

Jun Hao, you're really a lucky guy man.

Treat Felicia wrong and I will hunt you down and snap your neck (nah just kidding, I will only make sure that you can't have kids with another girl for the rest of your life. Okay I'm really joking).

Seriously the guy who marries her must have been a saint in his past life to deserve such a good wife this lifetime.

And to bestie's future room mate:

DAMN IT I HATE YOU BITCH.

You might be a nice person and all but well I'm still gonna hate you because you get to stay in the same room with MY bestie.

Which I have yet to do so before though we did slept on the same bed back in our Taiwan trip!

(That sounds wrong but no, it's not what you are thinking of.)

I hate you la, don't you dare to snatch away my bestie okay.

)':

Let's backtrack to last Saturday.

Went out with the cat to Parkway Parade cos I was supposed to do hair treatment at Svenson there.

So we shopped and talked till it was time to go for my appointment.

 And I got my chicken craving satisfied for the day!!

This is NeNe Chicken at scape. I love it omg.

Snowing Cheese~

Okay, that was a bad description I admit.

Went to shopped around after late lunch and I tried to put together some outfits (which I would not buy at its original price) at H&M. So here goes 4 OOTDs!

Went back to school for award ceremony yesterday.

It was soooo boring but the guy beside me his cologne smelled damn good ahahahaha.

Was trying very hard to show off my bracelet. Love how simple it looks yet adds a chic touch to my outfit. (Though 90% of the time you couldn't see it)