Not sure if I'm feeling upset and angry at myself or at the other party.

Why, why despite after so much warnings I still let myself get into such a mess.

Why so stupid, Marj?

Come to think of it, he hasn't really done anything wrong either.

You are feeling upset because you care, care way too much than he did for you.

Get back your senses, your rationale.

Where's your confidence that you were so sure of?
What's more, he was never responsible for you in any way.

If alas, things fell through, he can walk away without having to bear any responsibility.

You are the only one ended up getting hurt again.

Do you really like him?

Or did you only like the relationship?
The companionship whereby someone is always there for you that's why you are feeling upset when he's not.

Plus, today's incident was such an extremely small issue.

Grow up.

Are you gonna still behave like that in your future relationship?

Sigh I feel very disoriented and lost now.

I don't know what to think.

What and who to trust and believe in.

Always a fool in love, never smart enough.

Thought I'd be able to protect myself this time round but in the end I still got outwitted by my own heart and emptiness.

Stupid enough.

The higher the expectations you hold, the higher the probability of  getting disappointed badly.

Sometimes I get discouraged and feel like I shouldn't give in my best for anyone any more.

But in the end, I always can't help but feel more than I should, love deeper than what I thought I could stop at.

While here I am ranting away, he probably felt nothing about the whole incident.

As much as I would place my full belief in your character, there still lies some truth in the words they say.
I don't know when you are telling the truth in your sugar coated words, whether you really meant them or my interpretation in the early days that everything was a joke is right.
There are too many grey areas between us.
There are not enough truth and transparency about you that can make me fully believe in every word you say.
I thought I could manage to put up with this game but no, now I can't.
Because it's not longer words that we're playing with, I started to put in my real feelings and emotions too.

Guess it's time to sleep the troubles away again and hope for a better tomorrow.

Still perplexed. 

I had thought that I became stronger, became invincible, became someone whom nobody could hurt.

 

I thought that I could put down a lot of things, a lot of matters and people whom don't deserve that bit much more of concern from me.

But in the end I care, I care more than the limit I told myself to stop at.

 

I thought I had forgotten, but it's a fact that I still miss our friendship, missed having someone I could talk nonsense to without feeling out of place or awkward at all.

 

I thought that I could become independent and rely on myself, but well it remains a fact that I still hope that someone can be there for me whenever, wherever I needed him.

 

 

 

 

Hate feeling insecure, but I let you become one of my biggest insecurities.

现在开心就好。