With, this post, it will mark my 365th entry on this blog.

And in a year there are 365 days, so it means that my blog has been a year old now?

LOL. #lamereasoning

So in this "year" I have been through a lot.

Recorded some of my life milestones here, reflections, thoughts, emotions.

Throughout my journey, I have met a lot of new people, learnt how to be a better person, and understand better the intentions and thoughts of the people around me whom I cherish dearly.

Today, I find that I have been making a lot of mistakes in life, wrong decisions, wrong attitude, wrong approaches.

All these mistakes made have hurt my loved ones, and it is not healthy for any of  our relationships.

To start off, I feel that I have been failing a lot in my role to everyone.

My role as a daughter, as Nick's girlfriend, Felicia's best friend, every one else's friend, as an employee....

All of these roles, I haven't done one up to expectations or fulfil the basic duties to each party.

First of all, I have very poor time management. Other people are working, and they are serving multiple roles as well, where their responsiblities are even heavier than mine. Some are mothers to 2 kids, other colleagues have heavier and more strategic tasks to complete, while my tasks at work is relatively simpler and more routined as compared to theirs.

Taking my mum as an example is good enough too. She has to work, do some housework early in the morning before she sets off for work, return home to do more housework, buy groceries and necessities for the family at times and even continue her work till late at night on some days as well. If I have a lot of things that I still can't even complete now, then why is my mum able to do so despite her busy schedule?

Secondly, I feel that I'm not understanding enough and at times I don't sufficiently put myself into others' perspective and think from their POV. Like for Nick, there were quite a few incidents where I let him down by not taking him into consideration. I only cared about my instant gratification but I didn't take one step further to realise that it would have implicated our dating plans. However on the other hand, he thought of me first before doing anything. (That, I really appreciate a lot my love!)

Also, there were a lot of times when I put him into a difficult situation or inconvenienced him because I wanted it and I felt that he should oblige. However I failed to think for him that how inconvenient it would be or that he might get into trouble because of my one stubborn request.
I admit that I'm quite a possesive girlfriend and really, if I could, I would want to see him 24/7. Haha. One day apart feels like an eternity long. Hahaha. No, but it is really very unbearable to be away from him for  long. Sigh.
I think sometimes that sense of possession is too strong that I became less understanding. I know it isn't a very good method of expressing my love so I'm changing.
I love you baby and your happiness is above mine.