Missed typing and writing essays. I used to dread it when Ms Tan gave us too much writing to complete but now I wish I had more than one essay to write every day. Not writing on a frequent basis has made me more stupid as I had stopped thinking as much as when I was tasked to write something out logically and base my arguments on facts and write them out sequentially so that my essay had a nice flow to it and it made sense. Well, guess I would be writing on different things as and when I can from now on. 

Anyway, this thought came to me while I was chatting with the boyf and I asked him what if I die one day? (I know it is kind of dramatic to ask this kinda question but then again I have always been the girl who's afraid of dying yet contemplated suicide thoughts. And there's no harm asking? You never know if you had needed a practical plan prepared for you loved ones for your after-death, right?)

We talked quite a bit about it and then this question was raised in my head, but I haven't asked him yet hahah. And well if you are curious about his answer to the above question, nope not gonna share it here! Or anywhere else for the matter of fact.

Even way before when we got together, I felt that my love for him is soooooo immense that it was way out of expectations and control. I never loved someone so deeply before???

To me, this question has an instantaneous answer, I didn't even have to think for a split second but definitely love over bread.

To be more precise, this love over bread. Not any other one's love. (And to be specific, the love in this topic refers to only your significant other, doesn't includes family and friends.)

After being with him, I feel quite disgusted at the thought of being loved by someone else or vice versa.

 I cannot imagine someone else holding my hands, going out on dates with me and going through all the ups and downs in my life with me.

It just feels weird and out of place if it's someone else, it wouldn't be the same and it wouldn't be amazing to go through all that with another person.

Given my character, it is quite impossible for me to choose bread over love. I am the hopeless romantic who will never understand why anyone would want to betray love for money or for food to survive.

Maybe I don't sound sane or practical at all here but without Nick, I don't think I would be able to live normally. Yes I would recover with time and yes I would get over it someday but one part of me, a huge part at that, would have died.

Let's not take too many factors and possibilities into account for this topic,else there will be endless answers to each situation. Let's only take it that you have been starving for days together with your significant other and now there are two choices for you:

1) You stay true to your love till the day you die of starvation.

2) You get food but from then on, you can never see your significant other for the rest of your life, no contact, no news of him whatsoever. 

I had wanted to put the scenario as what if you and your significant other had only a few bucks left and you could only choose between a job and him.

But then under the most primal situations will you get to see the true colours of the person as well as his most accurate thoughts. 

No doubt, talk is easy.
Even if you choose Option 1 now, when the real situation happens, how many of you can stay true to what you have said today? Maybe by then the pain of starvation has tortured you so much and all you only wanted was to survive.

However, I still stand my foot firm by Option 1. Even if I get to survive, I would spend days after days crying over the loss of my love. My phone had a glitch once which made me thought that it was the end of us. Even though it was a misunderstanding, the pain, hurt and sadness had been real (prior to clarification). All of those feelings had been so tremendous till I felt like there was nothing left in the world. 

I didn't know what to think or what to do, I could only focus on the loss. I swear my heart felt like it was going to break anytime and my heart had actually hurt a lot. 

I had read a scientific article once where they say you could die from a heartbreak due to whatever scientific reasons and I thought I was close to it. I don't think starvation would have been as painful as that.
I would rather starve and stay true to my own heart, to our relationship and the love we have. To the rest of the world, our love might mean nothing and as you are reading, you might even think that I'm foolish, childish and hopelessly in love. But ever since the day we have embarked on this journey together, our lives have changed. I am no longer my own priority. 

He comes first. He has everything to do with my living, the Midas touch to making everything in my world amazing and wonderful. 

It is just quite impossible to choose anything else over him.
Nothing in this world can be a bigger temptation or becomes a greater happiness other than him.
If I don't have him with me, I'd rather be nothing.
Even if you give me the whole world and all the riches in this world, get to have everything and anything that I ask for, it will be pointless if he isn't there.

No enough amount of words can ever express fully how I feel towards Nick.
My feelings are sometimes so overwhelming that I didn't know that I can have so much of them.

And I will always love you my dear.
My answer will always be the same.