i don't want distance in our dictionary

yo ppl!
ok, here's a song for you guys, erm, but sorry! it's a chinese song, sorry yea.

http://www.haoting.com/htmusic/205188ht.htm
只好让礼物安静躺在我口袋 远远看着你跟他 快乐聊到笑开 当友情两字不足形容我情感 心情都随你转弯 耳机它轻轻吻我耳朵 爱情歌听不完 适合我们的从不是浪漫 你不会爱 我的爱 我明白 你的最爱 那一块 那天我才存在 我不会爱 你的爱 受伤害 所以宁愿 安静的等待 只剩下冰冷空气 陪我一整晚 寂寞却多到塞车 根本无法动弹 一翻身我在半夜 突然就醒来 梦里你的唇柔软 耳机它轻轻吻我耳朵 爱情歌听不完 适合我们的从不是浪漫 你不会爱 我的爱 我明白 你的最爱 那一块 那天我才存在 我不会爱 你的爱 受伤害 所以宁愿 安静的等待 爱你我慢不下来 没有哪一天例外 跟自己比快 我会赶上你未来 你不会爱 我的爱 我明白 你的最爱 那一块 那天我才存在 我不会爱 你的爱 受伤害 所以宁愿 安静的等待 不怕空白 我继续 东：等待 尊：明白 儒：等待
ok yea, here's the song lyrics... it's reflecting my feelings nowww... except for some parts luh...
haix.
i'm really really very sad
erm, personal matters basically. sorry i'm not really gonna say about my results; i don't feel like saying about it.
first, let me say something to this person, i will name this person y
NUMBER ONE: whatever that you are going to think of me, whatever our friendship will die off or stays,
i can only say that i don't mean it.
i don't intend to take over your place or whatever, cox everyone has their own stand and you are not the emperor and i'm not the crown prince where i will take over your place after you "die".
NUMBER TWO, if you are still feeling depressed over yesterday during chi lesson de thing, i can only tell you that what's the point even if you are in the same group with them? you may just shrug your shoulders and complain or whatever... then let me ask you, previous projects all of you group together.. cindy group with gladys chang they all, you group with they all, then did you cared about MY feelings at that time? you all have your own groups, fine, i can understand, and please, it's not only once, it's more than once, did i even say anything? plus, i had to di sheng xia qi(very humbly) to beg ppl to take me into their group. you think i feel happy? sorry not once. and, think about the situation now, it's DIFFERENT. i can only say that it's different, even if you are really in a group with them, you think you'll feel happy, you think they will feel happy? it is only awkward luh. and what you want us to say yesterday? sorry, please find your own group, we are not gonna heck care you(of course, kinda exaggerated luh)....
i know i know i know, you might be like damn pissed off now, after reading this, or even, you might want to bash me up, i can only say, this is what i feel, if you can shrug your shoulders and blog as you want in your blog, then this is my blog, and for god's sake, my blog's url is I JUST WANNA BE MYSELF, so i'm blogging what i feel lors....
secondly, i want to say smth to this person w,
i feel that our distance is getting further and further, with those two you-know-who ppl always with you, i find it hard to even say a little things to you, i have so much to say, yet i can't say to you. i really very sad. but, how can i express my feeling? i really very tong ku very tong ku, you understand mah? maybe, maybe all of you see that i'm behaving like a kindergarten child playing around, laughing, smiling, but after all these playing, when i'm alone, it only reminds me of the pain i'm having. we're friends and best friends since like last year and i really really am afraid to lose you as my best friend. maybe, you see that i'm very close to wenyi, always call her, talk to her, but what else can i do? sometimes, i feel envy, no, maybe jealous of the two ppl luh, they go out with you, talk to you, sit with you, like almost everything you are doing together now. sometimes, i feel that i, your friend, i should say best friend, hao xiang yi jing mei you shen me di wei le, plus we didn't had any big quarrels recently, it's just the distance silently drifting apart. if i had a choice to turn things over, i rather i lose everything than to lose my best friend. this kinda things is even more painful than any other things. it's more painful than you-know-who ignoring me. i'm afraid, really afraid.......
thirdly, i want to say smth to this person h, not really say luh but, aiyar! i don't know how to say luh!
okok, so erm, i dunno what is between us now, still friends or what?
if you had found out, and you're ignoring me because of this, well, what can i say?
history is repeating, i can sense it.
i mean, please luh, compare the difference.
in the past, we're like still quite close, hmm, talk like quite often luh, but you see now, it's either that you say that your sms is gonna burst or don't reply me. please, can someone let me forget about you?
i'm very very tired, sorry, really very tired.
can i don't continue to like you?
please, my heart is tired, my brain is tired, i really feel like giving up, but i can't bear to.
if, if i don't like you anymore, will things be different in future?
if i don't like you anymore, can we be good friends back?
if i don't like you anymore, i can really let go?
if, if, ifs...
我真的累了，可以有人让我的记忆停在5岁的时候吗？
这样的话，我会快了些。
距离，为何世间上有距离？
我不想这个词儿出现在属于我跟你的字典上。
我不想再假装开心，我只想做回我自己。
若真的疯了，那该有多好。
thanks wenyi for helping me post...