"My ring finger's been waitin', been waitin'.
Been waitin' for you to slip on that band of metal with an encrusted stone; that marks a promise and beginning of what they call 'forever together'.
Through thick and thin, poor or rich, health or sick, we're binded, we're binded. We're binded (and blinded) by our emotions and feelings for each other, we're connected at heart and by the horizontal hula.
When we're old, and our kids grow, all we have left is not health or wealth but our other half. Long gone is the glowing complexion of youth; what remains is the gleeming promise of you and I, will never die."
I'm sure most of the people from my generation remember this idiom that was taught to us during our chinese lesson in our primary school days. The simple chinese idiom of my title is easy to understand, yet it is so forgotten in the minds of my generation. I still remember the exemplary story that was taught to us, which was that we should never forget what our founding fathers have contributed and fought for to build our little nation to become a rising star, strong and free admist being one of those stranded in the Third World region.
23rd March 2015 marked the passing of our most significant and hardworking founders, Sir Lee Kuan Yew.
My own generation didn't get to see for ourselves what he has done for the nation and we defintely did not take part in the early building and planning of the nation. Yet, here we are, the most blessed generation to be savouring the fruits of our founders' labours.
While all of these prosperity did not come by easy, we often take for granted what we have. To us, the constant supply of electricty and water seems like a staple, it will always be there. However, in some other countries, even an hour's supply of electricity or a bucket of clean water is a luxury to have.
I do hope that anyone reading this or any other tribute post to Sir Lee Kuan Yew would take a minute to reflect and appreciate what our founding fathers have dedicated to ensure a bright and relatively easier path for their future generations. With his passing, a lot came to mind and I felt that it is time for me to share a bit of the luxury that I did not work hard for to the more unprivileged.
In my friends' and my own accord, we will be donating a sum of money (unsure of the exact amount at the moment) to World Vision, an organisation dedicated to building a better and more humane lifestyle for those in the Third World countries. Other than sharing the luxury that we own with them, it is also a simple gesture of commemorating Sir Lee Kuan Yew's contribution and dedication to what we have today.
In my friends' and my own accord, we will be donating a sum of money (unsure of the exact amount at the moment) to World Vision, an organisation dedicated to building a better and more humane lifestyle for those in the Third World countries. Other than sharing the luxury that we own with them, it is also a simple gesture of commemorating Sir Lee Kuan Yew's contribution and dedication to what we have today.
I've never felt so much sorrow towards the passing of a founding father and Sir Lee Kuan Yew is definitely the first and last only figure who will have such a great impact on me. His legacy, his commitment in striving to build and achieve the best for his people, his spirit in making our people become independent as a sole nation are all a lifelong inspiration for me. It also deeply touches me to know how Singapore has never once left his mind. And till the very last day of his ability to do so, he was still doing it without a moment of hesitation.
The clean water, seemingly unlimited supply of electricity, clean and pest-free concrete jungle, the foreign big brands that are easily available for us to get our electrical appliances or even shopping..... There's countless of things that he has done to let us live in such comfort nowadays.
I know that there is an increasing number of young Singaporeans who are getting more angst against the government and even hate on Sir Lee Kuan Yew because they feel that his policies are not good enough...... for THEMSELVES. I too cannot agree with some of the policies such as the high COE and HDB housing prices. But at the end of the day, I see how the government has done its best to ensure that the poor, old and disabled are duly taken care of. They too are striving to be better and I think they have not done such a bad job. I only want to tell this group of people who are so ungrateful and turn to blaming the government for not being able to meet their wants to work harder. Our society works by meritocracy. I believe that if you have the brains and brawns to pick out the loopholes in the system, you can likewise do the same for your studies and/or work. You've been given a granted opportunity to a top-level education system so if you can make the effort to put so much hate into the government's policies, why not you first excel in life so that you can have a chance to be a politician and change our lives the way you want it to (and without us hating on YOUR policies).
Sir Lee Kuan Yew had been an exceptional man combined with wisdom, guts and a patriotic heart, a man unprecedented in a long long time to come. Singapore would never have come so far without his foresight and guidance. Naysayers, especially you, would not even get the chance to express your negative comments online or anywhere had he not made every single one of us literate. So, before you even criticise him and celebrate his passing, be thankful for the high standard of living he has brought to us, which he used an unknown amount of blood, sweat and tears to exchange for. Bunch of ingrates! It makes me feel ashamed to even have to type out all of this here for you.
Lastly, I would like to thank you Sir, for all that you've done for us to ensure that we have a higher standard of living as compared to what you used to live in. You have put up a strong fight for us from Day 1 till your very last, to ensure that we can hold our own fort and that we do not get bullied and looked down on by other bigger countries with an abundant supply of resources. We may not have all of those but thank you for viewing Singaporeans as our nation's most important resource and for building and strengthening our foundations so that we get to even type any online tribute for you. We are small but we will not fall thanks to your daily hard work. You've sacrificed all that you could and I'm sure that given a second chance, you would still have chose to fought for us without any reservations nor regrets. After a lifetime of nation-building, please do rest in peace with your beloved. You will continue to live in our hearts though, and admist the beautiful greenery that you have insisted to integrate into our concrete environment.
I wish you everlasting happiness with Mrs Lee in your afterlife.
Thank you, Sir.
It hurts, it hurts, you are seen but you are not heard.
It hurts, it hurts, you are known but you are not understood.
It hurts, it hurts, you are grinning but they can't hear the whine within.
It hurts, it hurts, beacuse you care but you no longer fucking want to.
For the longest of time, I hid this side of me away, deeply buried and I thought I wouldn't have to face it.
It's not until the recent days of the start of my new job did I realised that as long as it is in me, I would still have to face it, no matter how long or how deep I stash it away.
And as Jolly, Ele and the bf pointed out time and again, I'm always afraid to ask strangers questions (eg. road directions, etc).
I too am afraid to stand up and speak up for myself, rather I always do so in written text (perfect example at this moment).
Subconciously, I've been showing this side of me in many ways, but I hadn't even realised that they all attribute to my inferiority complex...... I always thought that I'm a bright extrovert who can integrate into any environment any time.
That is so, until I start my new job, I have a hard time trying to speak to others and mingle with them. It's not their fault, but it's my lack of confidence that is affecting me. They aren't a unfriendly bunch, definitely from a different culture and environment but not people who are cocky and stuck up.
I have no idea that I could turn out like this because in the past, I have no major problems whatsoever when it comes to socialising with people (except a few months of hiccup during my poly days). Most of the time, I'm the one who talks the most and make friends easily, the other social butterfly in the clique.
A little way back into my history......
Back in primary school, I was teased at and made fun of of my ugly short hair, my body that was growing sideways more than in length, and for having far-away-from-pretty features.
Back in primary school, I was teased at and made fun of of my ugly short hair, my body that was growing sideways more than in length, and for having far-away-from-pretty features.
Yet, my self-esteem wasn't destructed. I didn't feel that I was inferior to others because I truly didn't take all of the teasing to heart. I remained positive and still had good relationship with all my friends. However, as the only child in the family, I still feel very much lonely when I'm at home by myself.
Not long after, secondary school life finally dawned on me. I didn't had a pleasant start. Everyone seemed to shun away from me. I was overly friendly and outgoing and it scared many of them away. Luckily (or well, only half the luck) that I had a few primary school peers in the same class with me, so I had familiar people whom I could hang around with. However, I still got teased at, for my voice, my figure, my hair, etc.....
And you know how most girly crushes will start to develop at this stage of life.
I had my (more than) fair share of mine and I actually had the guts to unabashedly confess to two of them. Come to think of it, I really admire my own guts too. Of course, I got rejected and well, from being the person who couldn't hide any secrets about herself, my crushes were let known to many people. It gave them a hold over me, the negative people I mean, and well, this is such a big thing to have in school and I didn't get teased at lesser......
That's when my confidence begin to plummet, after one another rejection. I really start to think that I'm not as good as what I think I am to be. I didn't start immediately to tone down my behavior though, and I too didn't wanted badly to change anything about my appearance. I was (and still am) a complex individual. After being upset, I comforted myself that eventually someone will love me for who I am, that my prince on his white horse has just yet to arrive.
All of these unsettled emotions stayed with me till poly. I was still outgoing, I was still cheerful but sub-conciously I become more and more mindful of my appearance. On and off, I still hear some rude remarks here and there. I still didn't take it to heart very much but then I was slightly affected. I also faced my last rejection in poly, and in between, there were a few tough months when I felt extremly lonely. It was also that few tough months when I turned to GD to seek for consolation in his hyped songs and started my exercise journey with Unnie.
I felt good exercising and feel the difference that it made to my body. I felt fitter, stronger and I felt that I was slowly building up my confidence.
GD also helped to sculpt me a lot to make me ignore how people would judge me, he was my motivation all the time. But that feeling of loneliness didn't fade away. Sometimes, I feel like I did all of what I did to become stronger just so that I could spite those people who looked down at me before, and not for the sake of my own well-being.
Nowadays, I've learnt better to embrace myself and my physical flaws. I am much more comfortable in my big-sized body. Much credit goes to having a bf who loves food as much as I do and accepted me for who I am. Despite all, I still lack confidence in facing strangers. It's just that feeling of the probability of being judged and self-consciousness working its devil on me.
The start of my new job is definitely tough in the sense that I do not know how to blend in with the team, yet. But this is my dream job too and I cannot wait to shed the shell weighing on me and become a little crazier and active like in those eventful secondary school days. Throughout all these years, I've definitely changed and toned down a lot, I bottle a lot more things to myself and became quieter, even socially awkward these days.
I do not want to be hiding this side of me anymore. Instead, I want to grow out of it. It's a part of me that affects me negatively a lot of times, it makes me unhappy at times, and it is a painful thing to live with. I cannot guarantee that I will be confident from now on but I will slowly learn to.
I don't know how many of you out there feels the same way as I do but if you are, let's grow out of this together. It won't be an easy feat and it will take a hell lot of time but we will grow up together!
Stay strong and keep the faith.
We are doing this together and you are not alone.
And here's a bit of inspirational story to get you going.
Elle Interview With CL
Fighting!
Is it even legal that you can make me fall in love with you all over again each day?
4 days late but better late than never.
Thank you for spoiling me with your love.
We missed out on our supposed Valentine's last year but thank you for giving me all of your love this year.
Can never ever thank you (and fate) enough for being here with me.
It still feels like a miracle to me at times how you are just right there in front of me, talking, laughing etc.
There are definitely rougher waves to sail through ahead of us, but I'm not afraid of them.
And here's my promise to live and drown with you.
To better times ahead.
Love,
Wifey
