Many many many things went through my mind these few days.

Even now.

Spent X'mas alone.

Then on Sunday the 26th, went to my grandma house for my cousin's birthday party.

One of the things that I loved best during such family gatherings is the long chats I always engaged with my younger cousin, wen wen.

I cherish these moments greatly because we rarely get a chance to meet each other, and FGs (family gatherings) are always the best chances to catch up on each other's lives.

Another reason why I like it so much it's because these are also exactly the times I can be myself during FGs.

I'm not the quiet and silent type as many of you know it.

But often during FGs, I turn into another personality altogether.

One 0f the reasons being age gap.

I'm the second eldest among my cousins(of the paternal side).

There is one elder cousin above me.

But since who knows when, we had stopped talking to each other.

Idk why or maybe I don't rmb.

Thanks to Fb, we have a bit more interactions now.

But during FGs, it is still awkward.

Terrible right!

Family afterall, and I do hope one day we can talk to each other properly again.

That's one of my regrets in life, I guess.

Anw, I cried like hell on Sunday night.

For the first time, I cried so much at my grandma house.

Thank god there was only my family and my grandparents around.

I was crying because I couldn't do anything to defend myself from what my mum was saying.

Didn't want to anyway, there were my elders' health concerns to consider.

After that, my tears were shed because I really missed my beloved gan ma terribly.

Pictures of how nice she was to me since I was a baby till now kept flooding back.

Haha, not that I can rmb how she treated me when I was a baby, but I can still picture it.

I think it's probably because I might not be able to spend so much time starting next year with her as compared to now, that's why I often teared upon thinking about her nowadays.

I will definitely miss her a lot next year.

And, finally, I gave way to my tears again ytd night/ this morn because of Lee Wan Shan.

Thank you very much my best-est friend.

I just realised that I've become very reliant on you gradually throughout this two years.

Especially this year.

You know, when some people becomes so important to you in life, you take them for granted.

And I think I took many of you for granted at times, incld Felicia.

Sorry for taking any one of you granted at any time.

I can't promise that from now on, I will not take any of you granted at all.

But do bear in mind that I treasure all of you a lot, be it my family or my friends.

Without you guys, I wouldn't be here.

HAHAHA, cliche but true.

I cried a lot these 2 days ehh, haha.

But it is a very good way to relieve stress and unhappiness once in a while.

Blogging is another effective way too!

MARJ FEELS MUCH MUCH HAPPIEER NOW!

Gan ma just called me to tell me that she bought my favourite fish for dinner!! ^v^