I finally found some time to do a looooooooooooooong and chunky post.

Today is 7th March. And from the last time since I updated anything substantial till now, what have I been doing?

For the whole of the second semester of my first year of poly, I actually haven't been studying a lot.

I wasn't hardworking at all.

But well, main exams just ended last thursday so I'm not gonna dwell over the fact that I didn't study for the second semester any more.

Instead, I shall hereby make a promise that I will work really hard for my year 2 of poly, alright?

(:

The most catastrophic incident that happened was the passing away of my grandfather during last December.

It was 4 plus 5 in the morning and I was sleeping soundly when I began to feel more and more uneasy in my sleep and I realised that someone was knocking on the door real hard, really really hard that I didn't dare to go anywhere near the door. 

I thought it might be some loansharks at the door, wrong door apparently if it was the loansharks.

I had this bad premonition that something bad was happening.

I quickly woke up my parents and when they checked at the door, whoever who was knocking it had already left.

My dad checked his phone because it was ringing non-stop.

There were almost a hundred missed calls from my aunts and cousin and that was when we got news of my grandfather's urgent admittance to the hospital.

We all left for the hospital asap and on the way there, the atmosphere was deathly and I just couldn't stop crying because all my grandfather was left with is one last breath.

And then, it happened.

Everyone cried.

It was the first time I see my family cried so badly. My grandma, my dad, my aunts, everybody.

The scene was so dramatic and heart wrenching and so unbelivable. 

2 days before it happened, I was still visiting my grandfather and I was still hugging him and he looked better (he was sick).

He even recognised who I was, how could it just happened like that?

It was a big blow the whole family had to deal with and in a way, we became more united as well.

More often, we only learn to cherish someone only after we lose him.

I really regret a lot not having spend more time with my grandfather.

When he passed away, memories of him kept flooding back but that's also when I realised that I've spent so little time with him after I went to secondary school.

But my regret can't bring him back, all I have now is the living and memories.

Sometimes it's hard to say "I love you" to the people you really love, like for me it's my family.

To friends, I'm that outgoing and sociable girl but towards my family, I don't know why, I really don't know why, I become quiet and inward.

It's really ironic because it's so easy for me to tell my friends I love 'em.

Well, but still, I cherish my family and I guess I would use actions instead.

Anyway, I'll let the photos do the talking about the rest of the updates on my life! Picture speaks a thousand words so the rest of the post should cover 30,000 plus words. Happy now? (:

September

CNY visiting at Yi Shing's house

Give me a chance, won't you?

Everytime I visit your timeline, I really feel so happy that that is still the most recent update.

Yet, your actions make me feel that all my happiness is uncalled for.

Tell me, what should I think?

This is no good.

I need an avenue for me to let out everything that's been piling inside.

I feel very much like crying but I just can't cry.

The tears seem to be on the verge of falling but it just can't fall.

I feel so suffocated this way.

At least if I cry, I can cry like nobody's business and after that I'll be fine.

But now, I can't even let it out.

Everything's bottled inside.

Really need a strong trigger to let out everything.

Sorry guys, not really in the mood for anything.

These past weeks have been so depressing.

Promise I'll come back with a nice post after I can find a way to leave everything out.

Meanwhile, pardon for all the sad posts.

Till then guys, a happy me to blog nicely.

Hello everyone out there.

I noticed that I get a lot of anonymous readers judging from the chatbox.

I want to thank each and every one of you who bothered to leave a comment to give advice, compliments or just trying to make me feel better.

Your words really made my day!

It really mattered when I'm feeling down and see people out there who don't know me but still care.

Thank you. (':

I feel so suffocated like there's no escape anywhere.